Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Chris' LiveJournal:

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Thursday, July 30th, 2009
10:53 am	Old parody: "Xbox #1 in Djibouti" From a long time ago. Slightly edited to be funnier. (Just wrote another such parody, elsewhere.) Microsoft Xbox number one in Djibouti Thursday January 15, 1:00 PM EST Redmond software giant's game system leading the pack in African nation REDMOND, WA -- (Business Weekly) -- Jan 15, 2004-- The holiday season is over and Microsoft's Xbox system is #1. That's the news from African nation Djibouti, where the Microsoft Xbox leads rivals Sony and Nintendo. To achieve this goal, Microsoft sold one Xbox to Robleh Hamariteh, a Djiboutian dirt farmer. The system included one controller and a copy of Oddworld: Munch's Oddysee. The MSRP was one Djiboutian Franc ($0.0001). This brings the Djibouti installed base to a grand total of 1. Sony and Nintendo trail at zero systems each. "Microsoft is clearly number one in this key market," said analyst Michael Pachter. "Nintendo is teh d00m3d." Pachter points out that at this price MS is taking an approximate $300 loss per system, putting MS' total Xbox losses to date at approximately two billion, three hundred dollars. MS plans to aggressively pursue the 13-14 year old demographic. "At that age," says Chief Xbox Officer Robbie Bach, "they're just beginning to move out and are going to want their own place so they can get married and have kids before they turn fifteen." "This Christmas season," says Chief Xbox Officer Robbie Bach, "it's clear that in Djibouti, there's no power greater than X. In fact, in most of Djibouti there's no power period." Bach then resigned from Microsoft to pursue "other goals." For more information about Microsoft, visit the company's Web site at www.xbox.com. (Comment on this)
Monday, May 4th, 2009
4:32 pm	Baby, why you always gotta make me hit you? I've seen these MUNI advertisements all over San Francisco -- at the bus shelters, on the buses themselves. The message is clear: Dear pedestrians, if you get smeared by a city bus, it's your own stupid fault. We're not paying especially close attention to the crosswalk. In other words, Muni's new slogan is now: MUNI: We Will Just Fucking Run You Over™ I love the giant looming bus in the background, ready to cream the little kid and harried single mom. Get out of the crosswalk, pedestrians! Ten tons of steel is coming through, and we can't be arsed to stop at every piddly little red light. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, April 3rd, 2009
8:33 pm	Volcano Curry is not as terrible as it was a month ago. I slammed Volcano Curry, a new curry place that just opened up on 19th and Geary, when it opened in February. Not without reason. I went back tonight and it had improved slightly, to the point where I would say: If you really wanted Japanese curry, and you were in the Richmond, and didn't mind scraping it off a paper plate with a plastic spoon, maybe you could go to Volcano. The chicken katsu was quite good, and topped with lots of cheese, which melted all on top of it. The curry sauce was still pretty bland and runny, unfortunately. But the plate wasn't divided anymore, at least. That's enough improvement to take it from one star to two (out of five) on Yelp. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 31st, 2009
9:46 am	backhanded praise from the email:  im NAME REDACTED. Im 16 and a proud devoted gamer for mostly the xbox 360. I have to say I have been dedicated to your  Gameinformer magazine  for a very long time and with your new issue of the Bioshock 2 I have been even more inspired to almost get into a business that involves the same work. Ive almost considered wanting to write for game informer in the near future. All I want to say Is thank you for the amazing writing and information about new and upcoming games. Although you do not own the  magazine, you were the closest I could contact and so I just want to say you have inspired me to go more into gaming. Thank you (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, March 30th, 2009
2:35 pm	startropics 2, the musical ferricide and i played the amazingly shitty Zoda's Revenge the other day, and composed this touching number. cue this video up to 2:27, and sing along. we're in a room full of boars yes in a room that's full of boars we're in a room full of boars yes in a room full of boars chorus: now it's a room full of bears and they're growling now it's a room full of bears and it's more dangerous than the room full of boars yes, a room full of boars (repeat until you turn off the game in utter exasperation) (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, March 22nd, 2009
11:46 am	thanks ferricide Haiku2 for kobunheat went into virgin looked for things i wanted then took out my phone @ aboutmylife.netadvogato.orgblogger.comblogs.gnome.orgblogspot.comdeadjournal.comgreatestjournal.cominsanejournal.comlivejournal.commyspace.comspaces.msn.com Created by Grahame (Comment on this)
Wednesday, March 18th, 2009
9:15 pm	batsong While waiting for Austin's colony of bats to emerge from their home, Karen and I wrote a song about bats. It goes: Bats Bats Bats bats bats Bats bats bats bats bats bats bats Bats Bats Bats bats bats Bats bats bats bats bats bats bats bats bats bats If this doesn't make any sense to you, you have to sing it to the Kirby music in the first Smash Bros. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, March 15th, 2009
5:39 pm	austintatious, part i asian fusion Karen tried to finish the in-flight crossword on the trip to Houston, and passed it to me when she got stuck.' One of the unsolved clues was "Chou-En ___", three letters. Me: You didn't get Chou-En Lai? You're from China. Karen: What? Where? Oh. I thought that was chou-en-croute. Karen hadn't had much to eat on the flight. i didn't know whether to punch or kick it Walking up to the gate for our connecting flight to Austin, a baby toddled up and stopped in front of Karen. She froze. We stood there for a second. We walked around the baby, finally. Me: Why did you freeze up? Karen: I didn't know what to do! Like, I didn't want to hurt it! (Comment on this)
Thursday, March 12th, 2009
10:58 am	oregon trail mix rob: Good feature that's probably not in Oregon Trail: Party members are named with random selections from your address book. me: That would be kind of weird. me: "Denis Dyack has dysentery." (Comment on this)
Monday, March 9th, 2009
10:01 pm	new yahtzee high score damn: (Comment on this)
Monday, February 23rd, 2009
8:26 pm	Volcano Curry is a plateful of hot brown fail Got back from Vegas today to find that Volcano: Curry of Japan had a soft launch over the weekend and a grand opening today. There were already a few reviews on Yelp, which turned out to be almost universally poor. Not a good sign. Problems: The curry itself tastes merely okay -- it has a decent flavor, not offensive like off-the-shelf powdered garbage, but it's really thin, not thick and creamy like Japanese curry should be. Giant vegetables -- not the biggest problem, but why the hell is there zucchini in my curry? Also, why are you putting on the red pickly things and cocktail olives for me? Leave that shit on the table and I'll take care of it. The curry is served on a divided cardboard plate. This is retarded, for a variety of reasons Uh, aren't you supposed to mix the rice and the curry? The curry soaks through the paper plate The rice sticks to the paper plate A cheap plastic spoon to top it all off And you don't really get a whole lot of rice and curry for the money -- $8.15 for a couple little scoops of rice. It's not as if this is a horrible bowl full of garbage like Kansai Bistro or anything, but it's certainly a rung below Muracci's. Had circumstances been different, I might go to Volcano every now and then to keep my curry desires in check. But now, Karen and I have been working on our curry skills, and now when I want katsu curry I can just bring a bunch of raw ingredients and make it. It's laborious and expensive, but better than this place. Sigh. (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 11th, 2009
5:26 pm	beat THIS yahtzee score, bitches (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, February 9th, 2009
6:30 pm	currying favor You used to be able to get a halfway decent plate of katsu curry at the restaurant that is now called Sushi Tokyo on 22nd and Geary. That ended a long time ago, the place went under new management, and is now pretty much terrible. For years, I searched in vain for Japanese curry in San Francisco that wasn't a tremendous disappointment. We found some at Dojima Ann (mud), Kansai Bistro (vomit), and Delica at the Ferry Building (good food, but more experimental than traditional). Muracci's opened up months ago in the Financial District serving decent Japan-style curry, but it has drawbacks. It's absurdly popular (natch) with a line out the door during lunch time. And it closes at 6 and isn't open on the weekends, so it's not like I could go. (And they use bizarre orange cheese that doesn't add much of anything to the experience.) So now Volcano: Curry of Japan is about to open up mere blocks from my apartment. The menu looks perfect -- real Japanese curry as it is eaten in Japan, no bullshit Americanized menu. They seem to know what they're doing. Only question now is whether or not it's edible. I hope and pray it is. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 4th, 2009
3:03 pm	custard's revenge Rockstar announced the sequel to Red Dead Revolver today, which sent me off to find some reviews of the first game to see the critical reaction. I am not sure what is the strangest thing about these first two sentences from Doug Perry's IGN review: "As far as anyone can remember, Western-style shooters of some kind have graced the videogame area. Whether it was Custard's Last Stand, Desperado, Freddie Farkas, Gunsmoke, Sunset Riders, Mad Dog McCree, or even Lethal Enforcers 2, the good old Western has been a staple gamers' could rely on, until recently, that is." 1) The fact that Perry considers the pornographic rape game Custer's Revenge to be a vital part of the pantheon of Western-themed shooters, 2) The fact that he got the name wrong (it's not Custer's Last Stand) 3) "Custard." Bonus points if you also noticed the other misspellings, the incorrect apostrophe, or the run-on sentence, but those are just the icing on the custard (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, December 12th, 2008
12:52 am	underestimating your audience brandon flowers: "you sit there in your..." audience, in unison: "heartache" brandon flowers: "waiting on some beautiful boy to, to save you from your..." audience, simultaneously but split in thirds: "old ways" "...heartache?" *confused silence* (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 17th, 2008
4:48 pm	photo now meme "read after burning" taken from ferricide  Photo now meme Post a photo of you Right now Don't change your clothes or fix your hair DO NOT EDIT post these instructions I am not actually sure why he did this, or for that matter why I did it. Procrastinating? Feeling like I don't use my LiveJournal for stupid livejournaly shit enough? (Comment on this)
Monday, August 25th, 2008
9:58 am	Sadly we hadn't had any Godzilla rolls Karen and I got Japanese food in Berkeley yesterday evening. Karen, finishing her meal: Gojira-sama deshita. Me: Um... it's gochiso-sama deshita. Karen: Really? Me: Yeah. Gojira-sama is Godzilla. Karen: ... Me: ... Karen: Oh my God, I've been saying gojira-sama deshita my whole life. (9 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, May 21st, 2008
8:59 am	man american idol was a fucking blowout. i at least expected david cook to, like, put up a fight. instead he basically said at the beginning that he was giving up. i mean, i can understand, but shit (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, February 25th, 2008
10:13 am	hanky panko i like that japanese bread crumbs are catching on in the american mainstream consciousness, but whenever i hear "pain-ko" i want to stab something (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, February 24th, 2008
9:34 pm	i have taken a very artsy picture as opposed to "artistic" its title is pain, sur un parapluie, sous la pluie d'hiver (Comment on this)